VacationHell
by Renegade Noa
Summary: I UPDTED! Part 2 of Chapter Eight is up!
1. Road Trip (Part one)

Vacation...is like living hell. Or at least in my case. But the cast of FFVIII, well that's funny...  
  
Disclaimer: Squaresoft owns FFVIII...not me...  
  
  
  
***  
"Vacation...hell"  
Chapter one: Road Trip (Part one)  
By: Rinoa Leonhart  
***  
  
  
Squall Leonhart sighed, a long and aggravated one. What in the hell was he thinking?!   
  
Agreeing to go on a trip with a bunch of people that will make his life hell!  
  
" 'Because you need a vacation, man!' Zell says. Vacation, a nightmare...where I can't take my gunblade with me."   
  
Squall complained as he sat on the edge of his bed, staring at the black duffle bag in front of him.  
  
He sighed one last time as he rose to his feet, grabbed his duffel bag and headed out the door.  
  
Instead of taking the train...he was stuck with seven other people in a mini-van.   
  
'This is gonna be hell.' Squall thought to himself as he arrived at the parking lot.   
  
Squall examined the room.  
  
In a dark corner in the very back of the room, he could hear Selphie and Irvine giggling. 'Oh Hyne...'  
  
"Do you guys EVER quit?!" Complained Zell, who sat in the second row of the mini-van.  
  
"Only when It's THAT time!" Replied a giddy Selphie.  
  
"Oh shit...I so DID NOT want to hear that!" Seifer stated as he walked into the parking lot with Quistis close behind.  
  
"Why, is it not the great Seifer Almasy...The Sorceress Bitch! Ya not MAN enough to hear it?!"   
  
"CHICKEN WUSS! DAMN YOU!" Seifer yelled as he dropped his bags ready to kill poor Zell.  
  
Quistis put her hand on Seifer's shoulder.  
  
"Seifer..."  
  
Seifer let out a heavy sigh glaring dangerously at Zell.  
  
Zell's grin only got bigger.  
  
There was a long tension in the room except for the noises in the back.  
  
Rinoa came running in, dragging her bag behind her.  
  
Her eyes widened noting the silence...well ALMOST silent.  
  
"Oookay...what'd I miss?" She asked, as she walked over to the mini-van, placing her bags in the back.  
  
Rinoa sighed as she heard the noises.  
  
"Selphie...Irvine...Can't you guys wait ATLEAST till we get there?!"  
  
Everyone let out a sigh of relief, as the noises stopped.  
  
"Okay. Since everyone's here lets get going." Quistis said carrying her bag to the mini-van.  
  
Seifer glared at Zell one last time, flipped him a bird, and followed Quistis.  
  
Zell responded by flipping him a bird back.  
  
Selphie and Irvine appeared out of the shadows, Selphie looking all giddy and Irvine adjusting his hat.  
  
Everyone shudders.  
  
Squall shakes his head, as he places his bag into the back of the mini-van.  
  
"So...who's driving?" Asked a curios Zell.  
  
"Sure as hell not you..." Seifer mumbled under his breath.  
  
Zell glared at Seifer, who just smirked.  
  
"I will..." Squall suggested, as he climbed into the driver seat.  
  
Rinoa smiled and sat in the passenger seat.  
  
Since Selphie and Irvine already claimed the back seat, and no one dared to sit back there with them. Zell, Quistis, and Seifer sat on the second role.  
  
Quistis in between the two...(A/N-Poor Quisty...)  
  
"Okay is everyone ready?" Squall questioned the group.  
  
"WAIT! Dude I gotta use the little boys room!" Zell screamed, sliding open the door of the mini-van and running out of the parking lot.  
  
***10 minuets later***  
  
Zell finally climbed into the seat of the min-van.   
  
Selphie poked him in the back of the head.  
  
"WHAT?!" Zell yelled.  
  
"Fall in?" She asked sweetly.  
  
Zell not really understanding what she meant nodded his head.  
  
"CAN we leave now?!" Squall asked once more.  
  
Every one in the vehicle nodded their head.  
  
"Good..." Squall replied pulling the min-van out of the parking lot, and away from the Garden.  
  
Selphie turned around to look out the window.  
  
"Bye-bye, Garden!" She shouted waving her hand to the disappearing figure.  
  
"Bye-bye dumb rules! Oh, Selphie...." Irvine stated.  
  
Everyone except the two groaned.  
  
"HYNE! We haven't been away from Garden for 2 minuets and they're already trying to have sex!" Seifer stated in an annoyed voice.  
  
"And this is BORING!" Zell complained, hitting his head against the window.  
  
"How bout we ALL play a game!" Quistis suggested.  
  
This caught Selphie's attention.  
  
"Let's play...I SPY! Okay...I spy something...um something...blue!" Selphie stated.  
  
"Is it the sky..." Seifer said shaking his head.  
  
"HEY! You got it!" Selphie giggled. "Your turn!"  
  
"I spy something tan..." Seifer said boringly.  
  
Everyone thought for a moment.  
  
Selphie was the first to reply.  
  
"I got it! Is it Irvine's dic-"   
  
Irvine clamped a hand over Selphie's mouth before she could finish.  
  
Seifer's right eye twitched. "Ah...no..."  
  
"Irvine's jacket..." Quistis answered.  
  
"Yep..." Seifer replied.  
  
"This game SUCKS!" Zell complained.  
  
"How bout we listen to some music?" Selphie suggested.  
  
"Okay...what kind?" Rinoa asked.  
  
"No Nsync, the fag boys, or any girlie music...clear?" Seifer said looking about the group.  
  
"Crystal." The three girls replied.  
  
"So what are gonna listen to then?" Squall questioned.  
  
"How bout Linkin Park?" Zell suggested.  
  
"Okay..." Seifer and Squall agreed.  
  
"That stuff has too much rock! It makes my head hurt!" Selphie complained.  
  
"Aw come on Selph...please..." Irvine pouted.  
  
"What do I get?" Selphie asked.  
  
"A special treat..." Irvine replied.  
  
The rest of the group gagged.  
  
"*Giggle* Okay!" Selphie screamed.  
  
***30 minuets later***  
  
"Squall..." Zell said tapping him on the head.  
  
"What?"  
  
"I gotta pee..."  
  
"Damn Chicken wuss! You just went over half an hour ago!" Seifer complained.  
  
"Bite me..." Zell replied.  
  
"Why don't you just go in the bushes?" Asked Irvine.  
  
"On a freeway? Hell no!" Zell replied.  
  
"Why afraid something might bite your dick?" Irvine asked again.  
  
"That's if he's got one..." Seifer mumbled.  
  
Zell flips him off.  
  
"Piss off..." Seifer began.  
  
"All of you stop!" Quistis yelled, as they pulled into the parking lot of McDonalds.  
  
"Man how bout we get some lunch too! I'm starving!" Zell yelled.  
  
"Okay..." They chorused, as they piled out of the mini-van walking towards McDonalds.  
  
***  
  
Once inside Zell dashed to the bathroom as Quistis, Rinoa, and Selphie sat down at a table.  
  
Leaving the guys to get the food.  
  
***In the line***  
  
"Damn...this is gonna take forever!" Seifer complained.  
  
Irvine and Squall nodded their heads in agreement.  
  
"Okay...man I really had to piss..." Zell said as he approached them.  
  
"I really didn't need to know that Zell..." Irvine replied, as he looked over the menu.  
  
"Hmm..." Squall stated, as he too looked over the menu.  
  
"I wonder if they got hot dogs?" Zell questioned, as he joined the other males looking at the menu.  
  
***At the table***  
  
The three girls giggled.  
  
"I feel so sorry for you Quisty, having to sit in between Zell and Seifer." Selphie stated propping her head up with her palm.  
  
"You don't seem to mind since you and Irvine got the back seat alone..." Rinoa said leaning back in her chair.  
  
Selphie's arm flew from beneath her, as her chin hit the table.  
  
They giggled.  
  
"What bout you in the front with Squall...You looked pretty happy up their...his hand on your leg." Quistis stated.  
  
Rinoa fell backwards, taking the chair with her. "You noticed?!"  
  
Quistis and Selphie laughed madly.  
  
Rinoa shook her head.  
  
***In the line***  
  
"WHAT?! What'd ya mean you don't serve hot dogs?!" Zell screamed.  
  
"I'm sorry sir...we just don't..." The lady behind the counter replied.  
  
"Okay...I'll have 3 happy meals..." Zell replied, shrugging his shoulders.  
  
Zell turned around at the sound of laughing.  
  
"A H-Happy meal!!!" Seifer exclaimed laughing.  
  
Irvine followed suit.  
  
Hell even Squall was laughing!  
Zell growled, as he grabbed his 3 sacks, and headed toward the girls.  
  
They cracked; laughing even harder once Zell was gone.  
  
***At the table***  
  
Everyone was at the table chowin' down on food.  
  
Zell on his 3rd happy meal, which the guys still can't get over.  
  
Selphie put down her hamburger. "I'm full!"  
  
"Me too..." Rinoa and Quistis reply.  
  
Seifer pushed a couple of French fries in his mouth. "I'm full..."  
  
"I'm full too..." replied a bored Squall.  
  
"Me too..." Irvine said drinking the last of his drink.  
  
"Hang on guys...I still gotta finish my fries!" Zell answered, as he stuffed a whole bunch in his mouth.  
  
"I'm froogh!" He yelled, as pieces of French fries came flying at Irvine and Selphie, who sat in front of him.  
  
"EW!!! GROSE!!!" Yelled Selphie as she ran to the bathroom to get pieces of fries out of her hair.  
  
Irvine grinned evilly and followed suit.  
  
Everyone sighed, as they walked out of McDonalds and piled into the min-van, waiting for Selphie and Irvine.  
  
***30 minuets later***  
  
After twenty minuets Selphie and Irvine finally appeared. They climbed into the mini-van, and we headed back on the road.  
  
"Hey you guys...exactly were we heading?" Asked Selphie.  
  
"I don't know. How bout we vote?" Rinoa suggested.  
  
"Okay...We have Three choices. Dollet, Deling, or Edea's house." Squall stated.  
  
"Raise your hand for Dollet." Rinoa stated.  
  
Irvine raised his hand.  
  
"Deling."   
  
Seifer and Quistis raised their hand.  
  
"Edea's House."  
  
Selphie and Rinoa raised their hand.  
"So Squall, Zell what do you choose."  
  
***  
  
Well I'm done with this chapter!   
On your review, you can choose which place you want them to go to.  
1) For Dollet  
2) For Edea's House  
  
Thanks, Rinoa  
*** 


	2. Road Trip (Part two)

Thanks for all the reviews! Oh Just wait till they get to their destination...Seifer and Quistis...get a little drunk...  
  
Disclaimer: If I owned FFVIII, why would I have a job after school?  
  
  
***  
"Vacation...hell"  
Chapter one: Road Trip (Part two)  
By: Rinoa Leonhart  
***  
  
  
"Dude...I choose Dollet, cause I mean what if Edea and Cid are at Edea's house. They'd be no fun..." Stated Zell.  
  
"I choose...Edea's house..." Squall stated.  
  
Everyone groaned.  
  
"So...we're even..." Rinoa said sighing.  
  
"Hey I got an idea! How bout we go to Dollet and Edea's house!" Screamed an overjoyed Selphie.  
  
"DAMN! Selphie not so loud! I think you busted my eardrum!" Zell complained.  
  
"Sounds good, Messenger Girl...can't believe you thought of it..." Seifer said as he leaned against the door of the mini-van.  
  
"All the parties...drinks..." Seifer began.  
  
"AND GIRLS!" Irvine whooped.  
  
*BANG*  
  
Irvine lay on the ground of the mini-van, a giant lump on the back of his head.  
  
Everyone turned to look at a pissed Selphie holding a rather large frying pan.  
  
Seifer's eyes widened. "Re-mind me to never pick on her again..." He stated to a laughing Quistis.  
  
"Where in the hell did you get that?!" Screamed an aggravated Irvine, to Selphie.  
  
"It was in my bag. Figure I might need it to kill you -I mean to re-mind you, you have a girlfriend!"  
  
Everyone cracked up laughing.  
  
"Oi..." Irvine stated as he climbed into his seat, grabbed the frying pan and chucked it out the window.  
  
*WHOO-OOH, WHOO-OOOH*  
  
Irvine's left eye twitched, as her heard the siren of the police car, as Squall pulled over.  
  
"Shit..." Squall stated, as the police officer walked towards his vehicle.  
  
"Sir..." The police officer stated in a husky voice.  
  
"Yes sir..." Squall replied.  
  
The police officer held up a frying pan.  
  
"This just flew through my window...it came from your vehicle. Am I right?"  
  
Squall's right eye twitched.  
  
Zell's head popped up beside Squall as he flashed a cheesy smile.  
  
"No sir! You must have seen wrong!" Zell stated.  
  
Squall's eyes widened. 'ZELL! You idiot! You just lied to a cop!'  
  
"Do you know young man; it is against the law to lie to law enforcers..." The cop stated.  
  
Zell's face paled, as he slowly sat back into his seat.  
  
"So...A ticket for littering, for lying to a police officer..." He started.  
  
His eyes roamed over the people in the vehicle. He noticed Irvine and Selphie in the back.  
  
"For no seat -belts...I smell liquor..."  
  
"SEIFER!" Quistis screamed.  
  
"WHAT?!" He complained.  
  
The police officer shook his head.  
  
"For underage drinking..." He finished, as he handed over the fine to Squall.  
  
He tipped his hat, and walked toward his squad car.  
  
"56,000 GIL!" Squall screamed outraged.  
  
"Oops...sorry man..." Zell stated.  
  
Squall banged his head on the dashboard rapidly.  
  
"Squall...Squall, come on it's not that bad! You could be in jail." Rinoa stated.  
  
Seifer snorted, as Quistis elbowed his in the ribs.  
  
"And you! How many times have I told you about drinking!" Quistis warned.  
  
"But...But Quisty..."He began.  
  
"Don't but me Seifer Almasy!" She screamed.  
  
"I love you Quistis..." He stated.  
  
She sighed. "Hyne! I can't stay mad at you!" She giggled as she hugged him.  
  
Seifer started coughing.  
  
"QUISTIS...CAN'T...BREATHE!"   
  
She reddened. "Oh! Sorry Seifer!" She said giggling one last time.  
  
Seifer sighed.  
  
"WHAT IN THE HELL WHERE YOU THINKING! THROWING A FUCKING FRYING PAN OUT THE DAMN WINDOW!" Screamed an outraged Squall.  
  
Irvine sighed, holding up his hands.  
  
"How in the hell was I supposed to know!"  
  
"WELL WHAT KIND OF MORON WOULD THROW ANYTHING OUT THE WINDOW?!"   
  
Selphie raised her hand.  
  
"I know! I know!" She stated.  
  
"What?" Squall asked.  
  
"IRVY!" She giggled.  
  
"SELPHIE! Don't call me that! EVER again!" Irvine complained.  
  
"Okay Irvy!" She replied.  
  
"Selphie..."   
  
"Sorry..." She mumbled.  
  
Everyone let out a sigh, as Squall pulled back onto the road.  
  
***25 minuets later***  
  
No one had said a word since they started to drive again. Until brave Zell...poor stupid, but brave Zell.  
  
"Squall...Dude I gotta piss!" He complained.  
  
Everyone sighed.  
  
"Fine..." Squall said as he pulled into the nearest rest station.  
  
Everyone gleefully piled out of the mini-van, and headed different ways.  
  
***At the snack venders***  
  
Seifer placed some gil into the vender, pressing the button that read Juicy Fruit: gum.  
  
Quistis sat on a bench watching Seifer as he repeatedly kicked the vender, complaining it took his gil.  
  
  
"Yeah you heard me you piece of shit! Go to hell! AND GIVE ME BACK MY FUCKING GIL!" Seifer complained as he kicked the vender one last time.  
  
Quistis giggled. He was such a site to watch.  
  
Seifer heard giggling behind him.   
  
He turned around to see Quistis smiling, and giggling at him.  
  
He smirked.  
  
"Thought that was funny, huh?" He stated, as he walked in front of her.  
  
She shook her head yes, as her body racked with laughter.  
  
He grabbed her by her wrist, facing her towards him.  
  
He stared into her crystal-blue eyes.  
  
"Hyne, you're so beautiful..." He mumbled to her.  
  
Quistis stared up at him, as he tilted her head to his.  
  
They're lips met.  
  
***In the men's room***  
  
Zell looked at him self in the mirror, as he continued to wash his hands.  
  
He noticed the guy next to him staring at him.  
  
Zell looked up at him, to see the guy smile.  
  
Zell's eye's widened, as he quickly turned off the water and ran out of the restroom.  
  
***At a picnic table***  
  
Squall sat on a picnic table's bench, staring up at the sky.  
  
He looked over to Rinoa who seemed to be doing the same.  
  
Her hair moved slightly to the wind.   
  
He tucked in her raven hair behind her ear.  
  
This caused Rinoa to look at him, flashing him a smile.  
  
"It's so pretty around here..." She stated.  
  
Squall wrapped his arms around her.  
  
"Not as pretty as you..." He said as he bent down to kiss her.  
  
Rinoa smiled once more, as their lips met.  
  
***By a tree***  
  
"Irvine...do you love me?"   
  
"Of course Selphie! Why do you ask?" Irvine questioned as he tightened his grip on her.  
  
Selphie sighed.  
  
"Then why are you always looking at other girls?" She asked.  
  
"Hey I can look...But you're the one for me...The only one I'll ever need." He replied.  
  
Selphie sighed dreamily.  
  
"You're always so romantic!"   
  
He flashed her a smile, as their lips met.  
  
***At the picnic table***  
  
"OH MY HYNE!" Zell screamed, as he ran over to the two.  
  
"What?" Rinoa asked sweetly.  
  
"A gay guy...HIT on me!" Zell yelled.  
  
"Now that's just sick..." Squall stated.  
  
"UGH! I feel so violated!" Zell screamed.  
  
"What's going on?" Quistis questioned, as her and Seifer came towards them holding hands.  
  
"A gay guy hit on Zell." Squall stated.  
  
"See Chicken Wuss...I always told you something was wrong with you..." Seifer commented.  
  
Zell chose to ignore what Seifer said and turned toward Squall.  
  
"Dude...I gotta ask you a question." Zell started.  
  
"What?" Squall asked.  
  
"Can I drive..." Zell stated.  
  
"Okay..."   
  
"Squall what in the hell are you thinking letting Zell drive?" Questioned Irvine, as he and Selphie walked toward the group.  
  
"Just wear your seat belts and you'll survive..." Squall added.  
  
"Oh Hyne we're gonna DIE!" Commented Selphie.  
  
***10 minuets later***  
  
Everyone was finally in the mini-van.  
  
"Bout time you guys let me drive." Zell stated as he hoped into the driver's seat.  
  
"And probably the last time too, for all of us that is..." Seifer said to Quistis.  
  
Quistis nodded her head, at Seifer's most likely true statement.  
  
Zell started the mini-van, and pulling out of the rest-station almost hitting an on coming car.  
  
"DAMN! It hasn't even been five minuets and he's already trying to kill us!" Irvine complained.  
  
"Don't worry guys I have everything under control."   
  
Zell stated, as they slide onto the other lane, then coming back into theirs; almost hitting a car.  
  
The man in the car stuck his bird finger out the window, as Zell did the same to him.  
  
"Yah same to you bastard!" Zell shouted.  
  
Everyone sighed.  
  
This was going to be a long drive.  
  
  
  
***  
Well that's chapter two! Zell...driving...what in the hell was Squall thinking?  
Well I'll try to get out another chapter before Spring breaks over.  
But after that, I'll only update on the weekends!  
Review Please!  
  
Choices for the next chapter.  
  
1) They get lost.  
2) They make it to Dollet  
Vote please!  
  
Thanks, Rinoa 


	3. Lost

Thanks for all the reviews guys! Sorry it took so long to get this chapter out! I flunked Math and got grounded...again...  
  
Disclaimer: Ask your self-that question...  
  
***  
"Vacation...hell"  
Chapter two: Lost  
By: Rinoa Leonhart  
***  
  
  
"*Yawn* Guys I thought it only took two hours to get to Dollet?" Selphie asked the group.  
  
"It does take hours...but hey, what can I say. Chicken Wuss is the one driving."  
  
Seifer commented, with a sleeping Quistis on his shoulder.  
  
"Zell...where are we?" Rinoa asked sheepishly.  
  
"Ahhh...good question." He stated.  
  
"Zell..." Squall warned.  
  
"Hey I'm serious...I ain't got the slightest clue where in the hell we are." Zell stated nervously.  
  
Seifer growled.  
  
"How stupid can you get?! We've been to Dollet a dozen of times!" Seifer complained.  
  
"What in the hell are you complaining about now?" Asked a sleepy Quistis.  
  
"That...that DIPSHIT got us lost!" Seifer screamed.  
  
"I couldn't have said it better my self..." Stated Squall.  
  
"Oh Hyne, you did it again Zell." Added a bored Irvine.  
  
"Since you got us lost Zell, you will pull over and check the area." Demanded Quistis.  
  
The three other males laughed.  
  
"And you three will go with him..." Stated Quistis, smirking evilly.  
  
"BUT-" they began.  
  
***Outside the vehicle***  
  
"Quistis plea-" Seifer's sentence was cut off, when she slid the door closed.  
  
"Damn it..." Irvine stated, as he kicked the ground.  
  
Squall steel-blue eyes roamed over their surroundings.  
  
It was around midnight, and the moon was full. By what Squall could tell they were on the outskirts of a forest, which was probably full of monsters.  
  
"We are in deep shit..." Squall stated.  
  
"What? Why?" Seifer questioned.  
  
"Forest up ahead...monsters too I bet..." Squall replied.  
  
"Great...Don't have a weapon. Selphie made me leave it at home." Stated Irvine.  
  
"Yah Quistis made me leave Hyperion at home as well." Seifer added.  
  
"I don't have Lionheart; Rinoa made me leave it." Squall added.  
  
They all turned to look at Zell.  
  
"Well...where's your gloves?" Asked Irvine.  
  
"Uh...heehee...I sorta left 'em at the last Rest station. I was so freaked when that guy did that...I musta left 'em on the counter...oops..." Zell stated giggling.  
  
The others groaned.  
  
"Now what? We ain't got any weapons..." Irvine commented.  
  
"Yes we do..." Zell said.  
  
"We do?" Irvine, Seifer, and Squall questioned together.  
  
***15 minuets later***  
  
The guys walked toward the forest, each holding their new, so-called weapon.  
  
Irvine, with Selphie's frying pan.   
  
Zell with some pepper spray he borrowed from Selphie.  
  
Seifer, with Quistis' portable curling iron.  
  
And Squall, with a butter knife.  
  
"As I walk into the Shadow of the valley of death, I shall not fear people-eating monsters." Zell repeated to himself.  
  
"This sucks! I should be having sex in a hotel room with Selphie. But noooo...Mr. Dumb Ass has to get us lost. But we wouldn't be lost if Mr. 'Just wear your seat belts and you'll survive...' let Zell drive. How in the hell am I suppose to survive with out sex?!" Irvine complained.  
  
"You...are one sick man..." Seifer stated.  
  
"Dude...You got some serious issues..." Zell added, breaking his chant.  
  
"At least I get some Zell..." Irvine spated back.  
"SO! At least I...I...Ah screw it..." Zell huffed as he sat dropped onto the ground.  
  
"Hyne my feet are killing me..." Seifer complained, changing the subject.  
  
A shadow ran past them.  
  
"HOLY SHIT! WHAT IN THE HELL WAS THAT?!" Seifer screamed.  
  
"AH! OH HYNE IT'S A MONSTER!" Irvine replied.  
  
"WE'RE GONNA DIE!!!!!!" Zell screamed jumping up from the ground.  
  
Everyone groaned as Zell ran around the forest, spraying pepper spray madly, then finally hitting a tree.  
  
Zell slumped to the ground.  
  
"Is he...Is he dead?" Questioned Irvine.  
  
"Unfortunately No..." Seifer answered.  
  
"Come on...We'll have to drag him back to the van..." Squall stated picking up Zell's arms.  
  
Seifer shrugged, as he walked toward the two grabbing Zell's legs.  
  
Irvine smirked, as he followed the others, toward the van.  
  
***ONE HOUR LATER***  
  
"Squall...man I've seen that same tree six times..." Irvine pointed out.  
  
Squall sighed.  
  
"Okay...so we're lost in a forest...A creepy as hell forest. with no food, water, or map..."  
  
"We in some deeeeeeeeeep shit..." Seifer mocked.  
  
"Does any one know what time it is?" Asked Irvine.  
  
"No...I wonder what the girls are doing..." Seifer started.  
  
"Probably looking for us..." Squall suggested.  
  
"And laughing at the thought of us, The Great ALMIGHTY SeeD's...getting lost..." Irvine stated.  
  
"I don't think I want to be found anymore...I'll never hear the end of this..." Squall and Seifer stated.  
  
"Seriously." Irvine added.  
  
***Out side of the forest***  
  
" What do you thinks takin' 'em so long?" Rinoa questioned, staring into the blackness of the forest.  
  
"I'm scared!" Complained Selphie, as she gripped Quistis' arm.  
  
"SELPHIE! DAMN IT YOUR KILLING MY FUCKIN' ARM!" Screamed Quistis.  
  
Selphie blinked and slowly let go of her arm.  
  
Rinoa's eye's widened at Quistis' sudden outburst.  
  
"Ooookay...Um how bout we go find the guys before someone kills somebody." Quistis stated.  
  
Selphie and Rinoa nodded their head's slowly, still staring at Quistis in shock.  
  
"Alrighty then! Lets go!" Stated Selphie breaking the tension.  
  
  
***End Chapter 2***  
  
Man I am so sorry it took so long to get out, and that it's so short.   
But I seriously wanted to get a chapter out before you guys loose interest.  
Well please vote for what should happen next.  
  
1) The guys find a city outside of the forest and get drunk, while the girls get lost in the forest  
  
2)The guys meet Smokey the Bear, and kill him.  
  
3) They die J/K! They find their way to Dollet.  
  
Please vote! 


	4. Hitch Hicking?

Okay I'm writing this on the bus so I'm soooo sorry if it doesn't make since.  
Thanks for all the reviews guys!   
  
Disclaimer: I don't own FFVIII...  
  
***  
"Vacation...hell"  
Chapter three: Hitch Hiking? By: Rinoa Leonhart  
***  
  
  
Seifer shook his head.  
  
They have been walking on the side of a road, in the middle of nowhere, for TWO hours.  
  
It all started when we finally got out of the forest.  
  
Zell saw that there was a road up ahead, and if we followed it that we would find the mini-van.  
  
"This is borin'! How bout we sing a song!" Zell suggested.  
  
"Oh 100 Seifer's on a wall! A 100 Seifer's on a wall! Take ya gun, shoot on down! 99 Seifer's on a wall!"  
  
Zell sung, as he slapped Seifer on the back.  
  
Irvine and Squall cracked up laughing as Seifer threw Quistis' curling iron at Zell's head.  
  
Zell ran into the road barely dodging the curling iron.  
  
"Hey Zell, man you're standing in the middle of the road!" Irvine shouted.  
  
"Like there's anything to worry about! There hasn't been a car on this road forever!" Zell replied.  
  
"Whatever..." Squall stated.  
  
"I'll remember to put that on your tombstone!" Seifer shouted.  
  
"I told you no car is dri-" Zell's sentence was cut off by the loud horn of a Big Rig.  
  
Zell tuned to look behind him, to see a big red 18-wheeler heading towards him.  
  
"OH SHIT!" Zell shouted as he ran toward the others.  
  
The three SMARTER males cracked up laughing, as Zell started kissing the ground.  
  
Their laughter was cut short when the Big Rig stopped beside them.  
  
The passenger door opened.  
  
The driver's face was in shadows.  
  
"You boys need a lift?" The driver asked in a country accent.  
  
"Hang on let us decide." Squall stated to the driver.  
  
The four males huddled up in a group.  
  
"So let's do it this, may be our only chance." Irvine stated.  
  
"Ah Hell nah, I am NOT ridin' with that THING. For all we know the dude may be another Jason or somethin'..." Zell complained.  
  
"Look Chicken-wuss, it's either ride with the Jason-wanna-be, or be buzzard food..." Seifer stated, pointing to the vultures flying in the sky.  
  
"Seifer has a point. Look we're all a trained SeeD. We've faced worse, right?" Squall lectured.  
  
"RIGHT?!" He stated again.  
  
"I guess..." They replied.  
  
"All right it's agreed. We ride with the...whatever it is..." Squall stated as he walked off towards the truck.  
  
Seifer shrugged his shoulders and followed Squall.  
  
Irvine glanced at Zell and followed.  
  
"What in the hell have I got my self into now?" Zell question as he followed the other three.  
  
***  
  
"Quisty, I think we're lost..." Rinoa and Selphie stated.  
  
"No we're not, LOOK!" Quistis yelled pointing to a city's gates.  
  
"YAH! BOOYAKA! WE'RE SAFE!" Selphie screamed bouncing up and down.  
  
"Come on let's go and call garden." Quistis sated as she ran towards the gate.  
  
Selphie and Rinoa followed.  
  
When they arrived at the gate, they stopped to examine the writing on the walls.  
  
"Gaea City. Under the rule of The Great Galbadian Empire." Quistis read aloud.  
  
"Galbadia...Uh-oh..." Selphie stated.  
  
"Yah, how come I've never heard of Gaea before?" Questioned Quistis.  
  
"Beats me. How bout we have a peek inside." Rinoa sated.  
  
"Okay..." Quistis and Selphie stated in unison.  
  
Rinoa flashed a grin as she pushed on the door of the gate.  
  
The door opened up to show a high-tech city.  
  
"Damn..." The three girls stated in unison.  
  
The three walked into the city.  
  
Looking around they noticed that there was not one girl in site.  
  
The entire population was male.  
  
"Uh...This might be interesting..." Quistis stated.  
  
"I don't like this..." Rinoa commented.  
  
"I want my IRVY!" Selphie complained.  
  
***  
  
Squall scooted closer to Seifer, as the driver looked over at him.  
  
Zell who was smushed against the door let out a muffled. "Get the hell off me."  
  
"So where you buys heading?" The driver questioned them.  
  
"Um...Dollet...How far can you take us?" Squall asked.  
  
" To the next Bus station..." The driver answered.  
  
"Thanks." Squall replied.  
  
"Dude, I think we're killing Zell..." Irvine stated.  
  
"And your point is..." Seifer stated.  
  
"Maybe we should get off at the next gas station or rest station..." Irvine suggested.  
  
"All right, fine..." Squall stated as the vehicle pulled over at a gas station.  
  
"Thanks for the ride..." Squall stated.  
  
The driver nodded as the truck pulled out of the parking lot.  
  
Zell was laying on the ground panting for air.  
  
Irvine was eating.  
  
Seifer was complaining.  
  
Life was back to normal.  
  
But something is missing...Something's not right.  
  
"The girls!" Squall stated, startling the other boys.  
  
"We can't find 'em. We don't even know where the hell where we're at!" Seifer complained.  
  
"Shit..." Irvine stated.  
  
"So what are we gonna do Mr. Leader?" Zell asked Squall.  
  
"Ahhh..."  
  
  
*** End Chapter Three ***  
  
A/N- So I'm writing this on the bus and sorta got the idea from my surroundings. It may be a while before it's posted since I'm using my laptop, but it has no internet access. Well tell me what you think Squall should do.  
  
1) They go and look for the girls.  
  
2) They go to Dollet, and forget the girls.  
  
3) They go looking for the girls and die.  
  
4) They go to Garden.  
  
  
What will happen to the girls.  
  
1) Some guy hit's on 'em, and they get in a fight.  
  
2) They wind up in jail.  
  
3) They wind up in Garden.  
  
4) They die J/K, they met Carson Daily, and get on MTV Spring Break Fear Factor.  
  
Please vote,   
Thanks, Rinoa! 


	5. Remembering and Fighting

Thanks so MUCH for all the reviews! Oh and SCHOOL IS OUT! Hell yah! Now I'll have more time to write my fics again.  
  
  
Disclaimer: These damn things are so annoying! For Pete's sake, they know they own FFVIII! *Sniffle* They don't have to rub it in.  
  
  
***  
"Vacation...hell"  
Chapter Four: Remembering and Fighting By: Rinoa Leonhart  
***  
  
"Ahhh...Well what else we go and find them!" Seifer suggested.  
  
"I don't know...The last time we listened to Seifer, we almost got eaten by Smokey da Bear..."Irvine replied.  
  
"I don't remember that happenin'..." Zell stated.  
  
"Cause it happened after you hit the tree." Squall said.  
  
"AH! Know I remember that happenin'..." Zell stated rubbing his head.  
  
"I remember exactly what Seifer stated too!" Replied Irvine.  
  
~~~ FLASH BACK ~~~  
  
"Ahhh...What harm can a little ol' bear do? All we gonna do is lure it to the van with us. Then we'd be RICH!" Seifer commented.  
  
"Well he can tear off a few limbs, eat ya head, eat ya other head-" Irvine stopped his last sentence.  
  
"And believe me! If it becomes gone or damaged you got one hell of a pissed Selphie to explain to." Irvine added.  
  
"Yah and remember that show we watched one time. When bears attack...Man I seriously don't wanna end up lookin' like that cameraman..." Squall stated as he dropped Zell off his shoulders.  
  
"And that dude was missin' an EYE!" Squall added, shivering at the thought.  
  
"Come on! That was a bunch a bull shit! Those dudes were stupid! They used dead bait." Seifer stated smirking evilly.  
  
"Uh-oh..." Squall and Irvine chorused.  
  
"We got LIVE bait..." Seifer stated pointing to the unconscious Zell.  
  
~~~ PRESENT~~~  
  
"Wait a sec! You guys used me as fucken' bait?!" Zell questioned in rage.  
  
"Ahhh, would you believe me if I said no?" Seifer questioned.  
  
"NO!" Zell screamed.  
  
"Heehee..." Seifer laughed nervously.  
  
~~~ANYWAYS BACK TO THE FLASH BACK~~~  
  
So they stuck Zell beside the wild bear, which they assumed was Smokey.   
  
It sat there and licked Zell, but nothing else.  
  
Thus Seifer got mad, and threw a stick at the bear.   
  
The bear went crazy, and luckily attacked ZELL instead of the others.  
  
Well thanks to the 'Pepper spray incident', some of it was still on his clothes.  
  
Which caused the bear to go blind, and try to run away into the bushes and trees.  
  
But, the bear missed the tree.  
  
~~~PRESENT~~~  
  
"Hey, are you tryin' to say the bear's smarter than I am?" Zell questioned.  
  
"Basically, yes..." Squall stated.  
  
Zell crossed his arms.  
  
"I see how it be now..." Zell huffed.  
  
"Come one Chicken-Wuss! Don't act like you're so surprised!" Seifer stated laughing.  
  
Zell growled.  
  
"WHAT THE HELL HAVE I TOLD YOU BOUT CALLIN' ME CHICKEN-WUSS?!" Zell screamed.  
  
Irvine and Squall's eyebrow's shot up.   
  
Seifer was even taken aback by his tone.  
  
"Ah, sorry dude...Don't take it so seriously..." Seifer stated.  
  
"Yeah, so you say..." Zell stated, as he headed for the gas station.  
  
"Where the fuck are you goin'?" Irvine asked.  
  
"Get us a map, car, somethin' to help find the girls..." He sated as he walked inside the building.  
  
The other three males stood there silently.  
  
***  
  
Quistis sat down on a stool at the bar.  
  
"What would ya like?" The Bartender asked Quistis.  
  
"Water please...Oh and would you happen to know how to get to Dollet."  
  
The Bartender shook his head.   
  
"Never even heard of a city called Dollet."  
  
With that he walked away.  
  
"Hmm...That's odd..." She stated.  
  
"Quisty I don't like it in here! I want to find Irvy..." Selphie whined as she sat on a stool next to her.  
  
"Seriously...To many guys, and no weapon to kill them with...This is so not cool..." Rinoa added in as she sat on a stool next to Selphie.  
  
"Yah I know what ya mean..." Quistis commented looking around, noticing that most of the males had their eyes on them.  
  
"If they even lay a finger on me, I swear to hyne, I'll rip off their arms and beat them to death with 'em... *A/N- My fave little sayin' I picked up off of Varsity Blues.*" Rinoa stated eyeing them evilly.  
  
Selphie yawned.  
  
"So sleepy...I WANT IRVY! I CAN'T GO TO SLEEP WITH OUT HIM!" She complained as she slammed her head onto the bar top.  
  
She repeatedly did so.  
  
Quistis and Rinoa stared at her counting each time her head went down.  
  
Counted how many brain cells she lost every time her head met the hard surface.  
  
"Ah Selphie? Selphie? SELPHIE?!" Rinoa screamed.  
  
Selphie raised her head looking left and right.  
  
"Huh? Yah? Wha?" Selphie asked.  
  
"SELPHIE!" Rinoa screamed.  
  
"YES!" She finally answered.  
  
"Stop doing that, it's annoying..." Rinoa stated.  
  
"Doin' what?!" Selphie asked cheerfully.  
  
"UGH!" Rinoa shouted, as she slammed her head onto the bar's surface.  
  
And that's when it happened.  
  
Some guy grabbed Rinoa's waist.   
  
Rinoa instantly raised her head.  
  
She glared coldly at the mirror behind the bar.  
  
"Uh-oh..." Selphie stated.  
  
"Oh hyne.." Quistis stated as she held her head in her propped up hand.  
  
The blue headed dude jumped back, as Rinoa rose from the stool.  
  
"Shit..." Was his last word as Rinoa grabbed him by the throat.  
  
One of his buddies came behind Rinoa and hit her in the back with a stool.  
  
Then Selphie whacked him up side the head with a bear bottle.  
  
Quistis sat quietly on her stool, ignoring the bar brawl going on behind her.  
  
She sighed and turned towards the Bartender.  
  
"Make that a Bloody Marie, Extra strong..." Quistis stated.  
  
The Bartender nodded his head.  
  
  
*** End Chapter Four ***  
  
A/N- Well another chapter through. So what do you thinks gonna happen next?  
  
The Boys  
  
1) They get into a fight  
  
2) They make it to Gaea  
  
3) They get lost, AGAIN  
  
  
The Girls  
  
1) They get kicked out of Gaea  
  
2) They gonna get hanged and the guys save them  
  
3) They get shipped to Desert Prison  
  
Please vote! Thanks a ton!  
-Rinoa- 


	6. My Dreams and One Stupid President (Part...

Thanks for the reviews guys. Sorry it took so long but I've had a major writer's block...And then when I get an Idea, FanFiction.Net is down. Oh well, at least my brains starting to tick again! Bye!  
  
Disclaimer: You know how much I'd love to own 'em! But I don't! Kay?  
  
  
***  
"Vacation...hell"  
Chapter Five (Part One): My Dreams and One Stupid President By: Rinoa Leonhart  
***  
  
"Squall, Buddy...We have no Idea where they are! We've been walking through this damn forest for a good two or three hours..." Complained a tired and cranky Irvine.  
  
"I have to take a break, I'm so tired..." Seifer stated as he sat down on a near by rock.  
  
"Seriously, I feel like shit..." Zell added, as he dropped to the ground.  
  
Irvine slowly sat down a log.  
  
Squall stared at the three.  
  
"Squall, what if coming' out here was a big mistake? And we die out here before we can even find the girls?" Irvine questioned Squall, He continued on.  
  
"I never got to live my dream...Me and Selphie...together, having a family-"   
  
"You mean a house full of rugrats..." Seifer commented.  
  
Irvine casted him a glare.  
  
"Come on Seifer, I know even you dream of marrying Quistis..." Irvine snapped at him.  
  
Seifer lowered his head to stare at the ground.  
  
"I guess, when I'm around her I feel so free...But she's so nice to me, and loving...something I can't always be to her..." Seifer let out and aggravated sigh.  
  
He raised his head to the sky.  
  
"I want to treat her special, like she does me...I want to full fill her dreams, along with mine..." He ended, as he continued to look at the darkened sky.  
  
"...The girl in the Library...She's so sweet to me. One day I'm gonna have to ask her, her name..." Zell stated.  
  
The other three turned to stare at him.  
  
"What?" He questioned.  
  
"You're dream is to ask her, her name?" Seifer questioned.  
  
Zell nodded his head.  
  
"Damn your pitiful..." Irvine stated.  
  
Zell glared at him.  
  
Zell was about to say a comeback, when he noticed the quite Squall, curiosity getting the best of him he stared at him.  
  
"How bout you Squall, what's your dream?" Zell questioned him.  
  
Squall turned around.  
  
"I don't know..." He stated as he leaned his back against a tree.  
  
"What do you mean you don't know?" Seifer questioned.  
  
Squall shrugged.  
  
"I guess I just don't have a dream..."   
  
Irvine stood up form his place on the log.  
  
"Don't have a dream? Come on Squall, everyone has to have one." He stated.  
  
Squall shook his head no.  
  
"Nope...I never really thought about it..." Squall said to the group as he closed his eyes.  
  
"You're a cold hearted one, Leonhart...You never even thought of Marrying Rin, and having a family?" Seifer questioned him.  
  
"Yah...sometimes but-" Squall's sentence was cut off by the rustling of bushes.  
  
The four males jumped, as they turned to look at the moving bushes.  
  
They continued to stare when suddenly a figure popped out.  
  
"LAGUNA?!" Zell questioned.  
  
"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!" Squall screamed in horror, as he grabbed a nearby stick and ran behind Seifer.  
  
"OH HYNE! DON'T LET IT GET ME!" He screamed clutching on to Seifer, and pointing the stick at Laguna.  
  
"SON!" Laguna squealed as he ran towards Seifer and Squall.  
  
"OH SHIT!!" Squall screamed as Laguna pushed Seifer into a tree and lifted Squall off the ground, pulling him into a tight bear hug.  
  
"Oh Squally! You never write, or call, or visit anymore!" He stated crushing Squall's poor little ribs.  
  
Seifer raised from the ground rubbing his sore back.  
  
"Goddamn...you need to lay off those fuckin' Flintstones Vitamins..." Seifer muttered.  
  
"Dude, Laguna, Squall stopped breathing..." Zell stated pointing to the blue Squall.  
  
"Oh..." Laguna replied as he let go of Squall.  
  
Irvine stared at Laguna.  
  
"So like...what in the hell are you doin' in the middle of a forest?" Irvine questioned Laguna.  
  
Laguna raised his finger to his chin in thought.  
  
"Well it all started when Ellone Cid Edea Kiros, Ward, and me decided to go camping." He started.  
  
*** FLASH BACK***  
  
'So we packed our gear and headed for the nearest forest in Centra.'  
  
*** PRESENT***  
  
"Wait a second! Are you saying where in Centra right now?" Irvine questioned.  
  
"Ah, yeah..." Laguna replied.  
  
"ZELL! YOU MORON!! YOU DROVE US TO CENTRA!!!!!" Seifer screamed at the wide eyed Zell.  
  
"Heh, what's the odds of that?" Zell replied, as he scratched the back of his head.  
  
*** BACK TO THE FLASH BACK***  
  
'So we found a spot and started to set camp.'  
  
"Laguna pick a spot and set up your tent." Kiros commanded Laguna.  
  
"Okay." He replied as he found him a spot to start.  
  
Kiros sighed as he picked up a stake and a rope, and began to set his own tent.  
  
"Cid, why don't you go and help Laguna put up his tent?" Edea suggested to her husband.  
  
"All right..." Cid agreed as he walked off into the forest.  
  
---- 5 minuets later----  
  
Cid came walking towards the others.  
  
"So, did the tent survive the wrath of Laguna?" Edea questioned her husband.  
  
" Well, it has a small hole in the top, it now does have to be folded and put up, and currently it is stuck   
in a tree." Cid explained.  
  
" It is stuck in a tree? How the hell did he manage that?" Kiros questioned.  
  
" Well, Laguna was trying to unfold it by holding it above his head and shaking it. The wind caught it, he let go, and it blew into a tree." He replied as he took his seat next to Edea.  
  
[Ellone walks into the camp with Laguna following behind. Laguna is carrying what is left of the tent, which is the string that held it together.]  
  
Kiros raised his eyebrows.  
  
" Is that all that's left?" He questioned Ellone.  
  
"Yap. Uncle Laguna pretty much tore this one to pieces." She replied.  
  
" Hey Laguna, how bout you go get us some firewood, while we find you another tent?" Edea suggested.  
  
Laguna shrugged his shoulders, as he walked off into the woods.  
  
*** END FLASH BACK***  
  
"And I've been lost ever since..." Laguna concluded.  
  
Squall stared at the black headed man in front of him.  
  
' He can't be my father, he's such a moron...' Squall nod's to himself as he continues to stare at Laguna.  
  
"Exactly what day did you leave Eshtar?" Seifer questioned.  
  
"Umm, July the first I think..." Laguna replied.  
  
"You're telling me you've been lost for over a week?!" Zell concluded.  
  
"I guess..." Laguna answered.  
  
The four other males stared blankly at Laguna.  
  
"I know you are not that dense..." Irvine mutters as he scratches the top of his head.  
  
Squall stuck out his right hand.  
  
"Told you guys he was a moron. You three owe me two hundred bucks, pay up." He stated, grinning evilly.  
  
"WHAT!! WHY?!" The three boys yelled in unison.  
  
Squall shook his head. Reaching into his shirt pocket, whipping out a small tape recorder.  
  
"What the hell is that?" Zell questioned.  
  
"A tape recorder Chicken-Wuss..." Seifer answered.  
  
"I know what it is Dumb Ass, but what the hell is he doing with it?" Zell stated, sending a glare at Seifer.  
  
Seifer replied by flicking him a bird, also mouthing a 'fuck you'.  
  
Squall smirked, as he pushed a button on the small recorder.  
  
*** TAPE ***  
  
"I tell you my dad is a fuckin' *Hiccup* Dumb Ass!" Shouted a wasted Irvine.  
  
" *Hiccup* Aw that's a bunch of Bullshit! *Hiccup* Cause If Cid counts as a Father *Hiccup* then I have the looniest of all!" A totally drunk Seifer concluded.  
  
"Hell My Dad's in the fuckin' grave *Hiccup* he got hit by a car *Hiccup* in broad daylight, he was *Hiccup* just standin' in the damn road for no fuckin' reason. *Hiccup* What's that tellin' you!" An also wasted Zell stated.  
  
"Zell, Your Dad was blind..." Stated a sober Squall.  
  
"Oh Yeah..."   
  
"I vote that Laguna is the biggest Moron...He's just...stupid..." Squall concluded.  
  
"I bet you my paycheck *Hiccup* that my dad's stupider." Irvine betted him.  
  
"*Hiccup* I also bet my paycheck, that Cid is more *Hiccup* Stupid..." Seifer also betted Squall.  
  
"And I bet *Hiccup* my paycheck that I'M stupider!" Zell shouted.  
  
"Fine...I also bet my paycheck that Laguna is the most stupid of all four..." Betted Squall.  
  
"Agreed?" He questioned.  
  
"Agreed..." They stated in unison/  
  
*** END TAPE ***  
  
Irvine, Seifer, and Zell stared wide eyed at the happy Squall.  
  
"Damn, I don't even remember that shit..." Irvine concluded, as he tipped his hat.  
  
"Seriously." Zell agreed with the Cowboy.  
  
"No fuck, I gotta cough up my paycheck to Leonhart?!" Seifer yelled outraged by the thought.  
  
Squall's evil grin widened.  
  
"Doesn't life just suck? Oh sorta like how you blow goats!" Squall teased, the ex-sorceress knight.  
  
Seifer scowled at him, his right eye twitching.  
  
"Oh shit..." Irvine and Zell stated.  
  
"My son HATES me!" Laguna said, as he started sniffling.  
  
"I'M GONNA KILL YOU LEONHART!" Seifer screamed as he leapt toward Squall who backed away.  
  
"OH SHIT! NOT AGAIN!" Irvine and Zell screamed in unison, as they grabbed Seifer's arm, holding him back from the laughing Squall.  
  
  
**************  
BACK IN GAEA  
**************  
  
  
Quistis, Selphie, and Rinoa sat impatiently inside a Jail cell.  
  
"I can't believe you two got us thrown in Jail!" And outraged Quistis yelled.  
  
"Oops..." Muttered a bored Selphie.  
  
"I STILL want Irvy!" She shouted as she fell backwards into a laying position.  
  
"How the hell was I supposed to know it was illegal to fight in a bar?!" Screamed Rinoa, as she furious that they had been the only ones to be thrown in the 'slammer'.  
  
"THIS SUCKS!" The three screamed in unison.  
  
***  
To be continued  
***  
  
Well that's the first part of chapter Five! Sorry it took so long!  
  
You vote.  
***  
1)Should Laguna stay with them?  
  
2)While walking in the forest should they meet Jason?  
  
Please vote!  
Thanks!  
***  
  
~Rinoa Leonhart~ ^_^  
  
*** 


	7. Hockey Masks and Monkeys from Hell

Shhh...I'm writing this at school. Looks around suspiciously, supposed to be typing science report. But what Ms. Wade does not know does not hurt her or me...Anyways sorry for taking uh along time to type I hope you guys are still reading my fic. Guess What I bought! My very own Squall and Seifer! Tee-hee!  
  
Squall-Chan: Since D.A. over here's to busy actin' like a moron we'll do the rest.  
  
  
Seifer-Chan: She doesn't own FFVIII. I mean seriously look at her. *Watches as Noa stares off into space* My point proven. And don't sue. She can't even pay her library fine, less than a law suite.  
  
  
  
"Vacation...Hell"  
By: Renegade 'Noa (Yes I changed my pen name!)  
Chapter Six: Hockey Masks and Monkeys from Hell  
  
  
  
***   
  
"I'm bored!" Complained an irritated Laguna.  
  
"I'm tired..." Squall added in, snickering a little as he smirked at the still fuming Seifer Almasy.  
  
"Shut the fuck up Leonhart...Stupid Woman making me leave my gunblade at the Garden..." Seifer complained as he scratched his head, as they continued walking through the dark forest.  
  
Irvine, well Irvine was being dragged by Zell.  
  
Why is he being dragged you ask?  
  
Well let's just say, he's out cold and was nice and plump.  
  
Why?  
  
Well since Irvine was hungry he decided to eat some berries, the problem was there were two kinds, one poisonous, one not.  
  
So Mr. Know-it-all-Zell referring back to his boy scouts days, told the hungry Irvine that these nice black berries were the poisoned ones.  
  
Obviously not trusting the blonde man, Irvine ate the red ones.  
  
He ate about six of them till the poor boy fell to the ground, out like a light and nice and pink.  
  
Heh, what are the odds of Zell being right?  
  
Oh well, at least he stopped complaining about missing Selphie.  
  
The wind suddenly picked up, as the tress rumbled closer together, moving to the beat of the hard gust of wind.  
  
Thunder clapped loudly, hitting a tree a few feet away from the group.  
  
As the bright light went away, Squall looked around.  
  
"Hey where'd everybody go?" He questioned looking around for the others.  
  
"SON! HELP! I'M STUCK IN A TREE AND I CAN'T GET DOWN!!!!!" A voice yelled from above.  
  
Squall raised his head up toward the voice.  
  
There was Laguna; arms and legs clung to a tree branch tightly.  
  
"Laguna! What in the hell are you doing in a tree?" He questioned.  
  
Laguna shrugged his shoulders, not letting go of his death grip on the tree.  
  
Suddenly a light buzzing of what seemed like a saw was heard in the background.  
  
Squall's eyes searched the dark forest.  
  
Suddenly a figure jumped through the bushes.  
  
"OH SHIT!"  
  
Squall stared at the blur, as it ran past him.  
  
"Zell?!" Squall questioned.  
  
"Dude! Did you hear that? It sounded like a chain saw!"  
  
Squall stared at him.  
  
"A What?" He asked the frightened blonde.  
  
"A fuckin' chainsaw man! Like the one JASON HAD! *SQUEAL!*"  
  
Squall backed away slowly from Zell.  
  
"What?" Zell questioned the pale Squall.  
  
"HELLO! I'M STILL STUCK IN A TREE IF YOU HAVEN'T NOTICED!" Laguna yelled from above.  
  
"J-J-J-JA-JA-JA--JA!" Squall stuttered.  
  
"Ja?" Zell questioned, scratching the back of his head.  
  
"HOLY COW! ZELL THERE'S SOMETHING BEHIND YOU!!" Laguna yelled from the tree branch he was STILL clinging to.  
  
Zell paled, as his eyes widened.  
  
"J-JA-JAJA-JAJA-JA-J..."Squall still mindlessly stuttered.  
  
Zell placed his hands over his eyes, as he slowly begun to turn around.  
  
"YOU'RE A BRAVE LITTLE GOTH KID! I'LL REMEMBER TO WRITE IT ON YOUR GRAVE!" Yelled a sarcastic Laguna.  
  
"Yah thanks...I think..." Zell replied, as he was now fully faced in front of the shadowy figure.  
Zell slowly uncovered his eyes to find...  
  
"OH SHIT!!!!!!!"  
  
"Trick or treat."  
  
"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Zell screamed at the sight in front of him.  
  
There stood Jason in all his glory. Blue jean over-alls, chainsaw, and the unmistakable white hockey mask.  
  
"Chicken Wuss! You know I can hear-OH SHIT!!!!!!!! WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?!!" Seifer screamed as he pulled his way through the thick growth of plants.  
  
"HEY YOU GUYS! AIN'T THAT IRVINE'S COWBOY HAT ON THE END OF HIS CHAINSAW?!" Laguna questioned.  
  
"Ja-jaja-jaja-ja-J-JJJ-JA..." Squall muttered, his mouth wide open.  
  
"Ja..." And with that Zell's eyes rolled up into his head, as he hit the forest floor.  
  
Seifer stared at the horrible site, as he whispers to the still gawking Squall.  
  
"On the count of three, you grab Zell and we'll make a run for it."  
  
Squall finally stopped acting like a moron and nodded his head.  
  
Then it hit him, "What about Laguna?"  
  
Seifer's eyebrows raised.  
  
"This is the last question I'd expect from you."  
  
Squall growled, "Well he's sorta the president of Esthar we sorta can't just let him die."  
  
"True, True...But how the hell are we-," Seifer's sentence was cut off as he ducked down to keep his head as Jason swung his chainsaw. "-Gonna do that? He's stuck in a tree and we're running out of time!"  
  
Squall's eyes roamed the ground frequently searching for a solution.   
  
His eyes stopped on a silver can sticking out of Zell's coat.  
  
Pepper Spray...  
  
"That's it!" Squall shouted.  
  
"What?" Seifer questioned as he ducked again.  
  
Squall smirked as his rival as he sprinted toward his fallen comrade.  
  
"What in Sam Hell are you doing Leonhart?! Have you lost your fuckin' mind?!" Seifer screamed as Squall reached into Zell's coat pocket and pulled out the silver bottle.  
  
Seifer glade in annoyance as Squall sprayed Jason's face full of the shit until the serial killer passed out, in a big heap on the forest floor.  
  
"Leonhart, you really get on my nerves...You always , ALWAYS have to save the day, don't you?" Seifer complained, his voice plentiful with venom.   
  
Squall only gave him a pride filled smile.  
  
Oh how he hated Leonhart...  
  
"HEY! AUGH! I'M 'STILL' STUCK IN A TREE! UH HEEELLLOOO?!" Laguna shouted.  
  
"Hey a monkey!" Laguna stated as he saw a monkey climb onto the limb next to him.  
  
Seifer and Squall raised their heads to the sky, to stare at the goofball president.  
  
Laguna's eyes filled with glee as he stared at the little tan monkey.  
  
"Awww, He's sucha cute lill' monkey...OW!" Laguna stated as the so-called 'Cute Lil' Monkey' through an acorn at his head.  
  
"Hn. I think I could get to like that monkey..." Squall stated as the lil' monkey attacked Laguna viciously.  
  
Ignoring the president's screams of pain and calls for help, the duo headed over to the limp serial killer.  
  
Seifer picked up Irvine's cowboy hat and placed it atop his own head, as Squall went over to pick up Zell.  
  
"Look at me! I'm Irvine!" Seifer stated as he waltzed around the forest floor. He stooped at a tree.  
  
"Well Hello, foxy lady...My name is Irvine and I want you to bare my children..." He stated in a deep husky voice.  
  
He suddenly slapped himself across his cheek.   
  
In a high pitched voice he stated, "How dare you Irvine Kinneas! You're such a pig!"   
  
" 'Ey now! That was cold..." A voice said as the owner of the voice appeared form the bushes.  
  
Squall turned his head sharply to see whom it was, he sighed as he recognized the person and dropped his guard.  
  
"Oh, It's just you..." Squall said as he went back to trying to wake the sleeping Zell.  
  
"What do ya mean it's just me? And you," Irvine said pointing to Seifer. "Take off my Hat, I don't want any lice."  
  
Seifer narrowed his eyes, pointing toward himself, than holding out his hands in a chocking matter, and finally pointing toward Irvine.  
  
" Yah, yah you'll choke me, I know..." Irvine said as he slumped to the ground with a sigh.  
  
"I miss Selphie..." He stated as he stared at his feet.  
  
A body suddenly landed in between them all with a monkey chewing on what looks like an arm.  
  
"What the hell is that?!" Irvine shouted as he stared at the bloody, and yet humorous sight in front of him.  
  
"Laguna..." Squall muttered.  
  
Irvine raised his head, "Oh...Okay..."  
  
And they sat in silence, as they watched the tan little monkey gnaw on Laguna, an no one moved to stop him.   
  
They like there fingers and limbs where they were.  
  
To Be Continued  
  
_____________________________________________________________________________________  
  
A/N- Sorry it took so long to post it, but I saved it on a computer at school and I had to wait for the chance to save it on a floppy disk!  
  
Squall-Chan- And so this concludes a Chapter we shall never forget.  
  
Seifer-Chan- And will always be reminded of when we take a look at Laguna...Man have you seen him, He looks like something that came out of the Mummy or something!  
  
Noa-Chan- *At the mention of The Mummy* Hmm...Brandon Frasier...can u say STUD!  
  
Squall-Chan- *Growls evilly at Noa-Chan's parents* Damn you for buying her that cursed DVD!  
  
Seifer-Chan- See you next time for another Chapter (Hopefully SOON) Of Vacation Hell!  
_____________________________________________________________________________________  
  
Ja ne, Renegade Noa  
  
P.S.- Please review, and if you have any good ideas for any chapters, please tell me! Please!  
  
  
  
;P Thanx 


	8. Hanging and SavingPt1

Hello again! Thanks to all of you who reviewed my last chapter and the wonderful ideas you gave in your reviews!   
  
Squall: And so, here we are again...  
  
Seifer: Writing another chapter to our weird little vacation.  
  
Noa: Whatever...Anyways, sorry it took later, but I've been working on my website in my free time. With the little free time I get...  
  
Squall: "Disclaimer": We do not own FFVIII...wait a minuet...someone owns 'us'?  
  
Seifer: *Shrugs shoulders*   
  
Noa: On with the fic!!  
Vacation...Hell  
"Chapter Seven: Hanging and Saving (Pt.1)"  
By: Renegade Noa  
******  
Gaea  
******  
  
"Guys...I think we're screwed..." Selphie stated to the antsy Rinoa and Quistis.  
  
"Shut up Selphie...Every time you say something negative, it HAPPENS!" Quistis screamed, her nervousness getting to her.  
  
"Yes...I will predict your future! I am 'The Great Selphie'! Come... ask your future!" She stated as she giggled at the faces of the other to women.  
  
"Oh really 'Great Selphie'? Tell me my future then..." Quistis stated.  
  
Selphie smiled broadly, and looked about the small cell.  
  
"Come 'ere my crystal ball that knows all..." She stated as she grabbed Rinoa by her neck, with her arm and began to rub the top of her head.  
  
" 'Ey! You're messin' up my hair!" Rinoa screamed in protest.  
  
" SHHH...My crystal ball speaks to me about great things..." She said as she whispered to Rinoa.   
  
" Make something up yourself!" Rinoa screamed again, trying to pull out of the headlock Selphie held her in.  
  
Selphie glared evilly at the raven-haired woman.  
  
"Uh...Ya marry Seifer..." Rinoa stated swiftly, not liking the look Selphie was giving her.  
  
Selphie smiled brightly again.  
  
"That's more like it! What else do you see?!" She questioned, as she yet again rubbed Rinoa's head.  
  
Rinoa glared.  
  
"If I go bald, it's all your damn fault!!" She shouted.  
  
Selphie rubbed her head even harder, " THE GREAT SELPHIE SAYS WHAT THE HELL DO YA SEE!!!!!!"  
  
Rinoa's eyes widen.  
  
"I see a lil' monkey walkin' toward us with an arm in his mouth..." Rinoa stated dryly.  
  
"What else does the-What?" Selphie questioned, as Rinoa pointed past the agitated Quistis to a pint size monkey outside of the cell.  
  
"OH MY GOD! IT HAS AN ARM!!!" Selphie shouted.  
  
Quistis stared at it closely.  
  
"OH MY GOD! THE ARMS REAL!"  
  
Rinoa un-wrapped Selphie's arm from around her neck, and walked towards the bar.  
  
"I've seen that watch from somewhere...." She stated as she stared at the silver watch that hung on the arm.  
  
"SHIT! That's the watch we gave Laguna for Christmas!" Rinoa gaped, in surprise.  
  
Selphie and Quistis looked at the monkey.  
  
Quistis opened her mouth to say something, but the sudden sound of a door being unlocked stopped her.  
  
"Well, well, well...Can you guess what today is?" A man dressed in brown with a sheriff badge on his left chest.  
Selphie put a hand behind her head.  
  
"Uh the day you let us go?" Selphie asked hopefully.  
  
The chubby sheriff let out an evil chuckle.  
  
"Now wouldn't you like that...Today's the day we hang ya'll purtty lil' necks."  
  
The three girls looked at each other, with fear in their eyes.  
  
"Shit..."  
  
***  
(Rinoa's POV)  
  
I looked around at all the men gathered to watch our deaths.  
  
As my eyes meet the one's from the bar with a smug smirk on his face.  
  
Anger rushed through my veins as my mind told me to punch that son of a bitch.  
  
I moved my arms, no use. Handcuffs bind my hands. My sorcery was no help now.  
  
There's nothing I can do, but walk towards my death.  
  
I feel a tear roll down my cheek, as I whisper to myself.  
  
"I'm sorry Squall..."  
  
***  
(Selphie's POV)  
  
"Oh hyne! I'm too young to die!" I whined as two deputies dragged me toward the square, where the sentence will take place.  
  
"IRVINE!" I cried out as I gripped onto a lamp post.  
  
"This is SO not fair!!!!" I protested, as the deputies pulled me from the pole and continued to drag me away.  
  
I turned my head to look ahead of the deputies.  
  
I saw Rinoa walking towards the stand, a small tear ran down her cheek.  
  
My heart dropped, if Rinoa has given up, then we're really going to die...  
  
"Irvine...*sniff*"  
  
***  
(Quistis' POV)  
  
I watch as one by one my friends are dragged away, and I know in my heart that these are my last moments.  
  
Seifer...as much as I hate to admit it, I'm going to miss the Jackass...  
  
Well, he's not always a Jackass...  
  
Seifer...I never had the chance to get to know you even better...  
  
They've all given up...and I have too...  
  
" See ya in the after life Almasy..." I whisper, as the deputies walk me away towards my fate..  
  
***  
TO BE CONTINUED  
***  
  
A/N- 'Ey my first really good cliffy! Sorry to end like this, but I got school in the mornin' and it's already 12: 01 AM!  
  
Squall: Hmm...I think she killed off Laguna...  
  
Seifer: Maybe...  
  
Noa: Anyways see ya in the next chapter!  
  
*** 


	9. Hanging and Saving Pt 2

Woo-Hoo! I GOT 100 REVIEWS! GOD I LOVE YOU GUYS! This Fanfic is a major accomplishment for me! Thanks to all of you who reviewed!  
  
Boai - Yes I know it was short but I've had finals to study for and it's been hard trying to update my story and still earn my grade. Thanks for the review!  
  
Cherry6124 - I'm trying to put you more Selvine in the story since you and my friend both love them together. Don't worry I'm not done torturing Laguna yet! And I agree with the whole monkey thing, they are kinda creepy when they stare at ya. Thanks for the review!  
  
Mary - Again sorry for it being short. But believe me my stories not ending yet, they haven't even made it to their destination yet. Thanks for the review!  
  
Amber - Yes Selphie will think the Monkey's cute, and believe me Selphie always has here frying pan of doom hidden somewhere. And the bear will return in this chapter. Thanks for the review!  
  
And to who ever else may have reviewed! THANK YOU!  
  
____________________________________________________________________________________  
  
Squall: Now that Rinoa has finally stopped her blabbing.  
  
(Receives evil glare from Rinoa.)  
  
Seifer: Uh...on with the fic!  
  
Vacation...Hell  
  
"Chapter Eight: Hanging and Saving (Pt.2)"  
  
By: Renegade Noa  
  
***  
  
"Are you sure it was a good idea to leave Zell and Laguna alone?" Irvine questioned Squall as they walked through the forest.   
  
"Positive...it's not like they're going anywhere." Squall stated as they continued to follow the trail of trampled leaves, left by the small monkey.  
  
"Like it matters what happens to those two goofballs. Al I care about right now is getting Quisty back safely." Seifer added in as he pushed past Irvine and walked towards Squall.  
  
Irvine watched as the two walked off. "Well I'm jus' sayin' Laguna's a president, and if something eats Zell, we'd have to explain it to Cid!" Irvine yelled. Squall and Seifer kept walking, Irvine sighed, "I don't know why I even try..." Slumping his shoulders he followed Squall and Seifer, mumbling incoherent words.  
  
Seifer turned to look at Irvine. "Besides the worse thing that can happen is that a bear would smell the blood and come for them, but that's still a 50/50 chance." Seifer said as he grabbed Irvine by the shoulders. "So don't sweat it man." He said as he flashed Irvine a cheesy grin. Irvine glared at Seifer.  
  
"Dude get the fuck off me! Hyne, I swear you're fuckin' gay!" Irvine hollered as he pushed Seifer's arm off him. Seifer growled at him, as he jumped on Irvine, throwing several punches.  
  
Seifer and Irvine rolled on the forest ground, beating each other senseless. Rolling into a thorn bush, they both screamed as they jumped out of the twisted thorn bush.  
  
Squall looked at the two, and immediately began to laugh. "Damn, you guys look like shit!" Squall stated, as his eyes roamed over the filthy duo.  
  
Seifer and Irvine were covered in mud, grass, twigs, and a few thorns here and there. Seifer glared at Squall and casted Irvine a smug look, as he walked away from the group pulling thorns out of his butt as he walked.  
  
" That man won't give up on her, he's good for her.... unlike you Mr. Kinneas, who flirts with anything thing that's female and walks." A voice said behind Irvine.  
  
Squall's eyes widened as Irvine turned pale. "Don't you ever die ol' man!" Irvine questioned as Laguna brushed by him, and hugged his one and only son. Irvine's eyes widened as he pointed out to Squall, the little stick that was replacing Laguna's ARM!  
  
Oh how Squall despised Laguna. Even after losing his arm he's still alive! Can't he just stay dead, or at least pretend to be for his own sanity?  
  
"So...what'd ya do with Zell?" Irvine questioned rescuing Squall from any further embarrassment. Squall silently praised Irvine as Laguna let go of him.  
  
As if own queue, Laguna's stick arm fell off. Squall and Irvine's faces turned green as Laguna bent down and put it back in place.  
  
"Ya know that's the strange part, when I woke up he was gone..." Laguna stated as he scratched the side of his head in confusion.  
  
"HEY ARE YOU GUYS COMING OR WHAT?!" Seifer yelled from up ahead.  
  
"HOLD YOUR FUCKIN' CHOCOBOS! Grumpy ass reminds of a damn ol' man..." Irvine mumbled as he shook his head trying to forget the whole stick incident.  
  
"I HEARD THAT!" Seifer screamed back in return.  
  
Squall shook his head, as he walked towards Seifer. "I'm surrounded by a fuckin' morons..." Squall stated as he glared at Seifer's back as they continued to follow the lil' monkey's path.  
  
***  
  
20 minuets Later  
  
***  
  
"What do you think this place is?" Squall asked aloud, as he placed his hand on the cold cement wall.  
  
"Gaea City. Under the great Galbadian Rule. Never heard of it..." Seifer answered as he read the writing on the wall.  
  
"Who cares, the monkey's trail stops at that gate. So we're goin in." Irvine stated as he knocked on the gate.  
  
The gate opened to show three armored men, possibly soldiers.  
  
"What business do ye have here?" One of the three questioned.  
  
"What?" The three SeeD's stated in unison.  
  
"Let me handle this." Laguna stated. "We're looking for three girls and a monkey have you seen them?" Laguna asked, as he flashed a smile back to the three confused males behind him.  
  
"ARREST THEM!" The tallest man shouted, as more guards surrounded them.  
  
"What? What'd I say?" Laguna questioned as he was handcuffed and drug away by three men.  
  
"Why to fuckin' go Laguna!" Seifer shouted as they we're pulled into the city, the gates closing behind them.  
  
"Why-" Squall's question was cut short as his world went black.  
  
***  
  
(Squall's POV)  
  
'Screaming...all I hear is screaming.  
  
Wait I hear someone calling out my name...  
  
She's sad...RINOA!'  
  
With that Squall slowly opened his eyes.   
  
He stared around in shock as he realized what was happing. They we're all going to be hanged.  
  
(End Squall's POV)  
  
***  
  
"How nice of you to join us Leonhart...your dumb ass father over there got us arrested." Seifer stated as he glared evilly at Laguna.  
  
"Now Seifer, how was Laguna supposed to know, that we were in trouble here, and that mentioning us made you comrades." Quistis replied, trying to make Laguna feel better, as she flashed his a sweet smile.  
  
All she got from Seifer was a 'hmph', but that did not faze her.  
  
"Quistis? Selphie? Rinoa?! You're all ALIVE!" Squall stated happily, well about as happy as Squall Leonhart gets.  
  
"Not for much longer we won't, and neither will you guys, their hanging us at noon." Rinoa stated sadly.   
  
"What? What for?" Squall questioned, wondering what the could have possibly done to deserve this sentence.  
  
"Rinoa started a bar fight..." Selphie stated. "SELPHIE!" Rinoa screamed.  
  
"That's it...they're gonna hang you because you started a bar fight? That's fuckin' stupid!" Seifer exclaimed.  
  
"Yah well, lesson learned, never start fights and win in a city with only a male population." Rinoa stated, as she sighed. Boy did this suck.  
  
"Only a male population? WHAT KINDA CITY IS THAT! WHO WOULD WANNA LIVE HERE?!" Irvine exclaimed, earning some rude looks from the fellow population.  
  
"Will you keep it down! Are you trying to get us hung early! Sheesh!" Seifer stated.  
  
"DO NOT FEAR! HELP IS HERE!" A voice screamed from a far.  
  
"What the hell was that?" Laguna asked to know one.  
  
"Probably the local loony..." Seifer answered.   
  
And that's when Zell came running towards them with a shit load of guards chasing him.  
  
"Yep...definitely the local loony..." Seifer stated dryly.  
  
Zell stopped and did a few kung-fu lookin' moves, and looked up at the group who was perched on the hanging stage.  
  
"What are you guys starin' at? I came to rescue you guys!" Zell stated as he smiled smugly.  
  
The other seven stood there in disbelief.  
  
***   
  
3 minuets later  
  
***  
  
" *CRIES* WE'RE GONNA DIE!" Zell screamed, as he too was hand cuffed to the hanging stage.  
  
" 'What are you guys starin' at? I came to rescue you guys!' " Seifer mimicked and laughed, Squall and Irvine joining him.  
  
"This is not a laughing situation here! I see my life passing before my eyes!" Zell exclaimed, as he started to laugh hysterically.  
  
Squall, Seifer, and Irvine stopped laughing and started at him weirdly.  
  
"Squall h-" Rinoa was cut off as the court house bell began to dong.  
  
1....  
  
2....  
  
3....  
  
4....  
  
5....  
  
6....  
  
7....  
  
8....  
  
9....  
  
10....  
  
11....  
  
They all silently pray....to give them one hour together  
  
12....  
  
Hyne had not answered...  
  
They're going to die....  
  
*** TO BE CONTINUED***  
  
A/N- Wow another cliffy! I am soooooo sorry it took so long for me to update! All the band practices have been hectic lately. SORRY!  
  
Until next time! No worries, Renegade Noa   
  
------------------------------------------------------------  
  
This has been a production of Renegade Noa Productions ä???  
  
rinoaheartilly_leonhart@yahoo.com 


End file.
